Saturday, September 11, 2004
Haix..lately not really in good mood and the cause of this might be after that Nikki's incident. So far guess only Jolene can roughly understand how i felt. Who will be glad losing one friend moreover your best friend, someone who you can confide in and trust. Went to see Nikki's profile in friendster and saw the testimonials wrote by Eileen and MeiChoo. My heart sank. Seeing my best friend becoming close with someone else of course sure sad. I can hardly breath between in the middle of Nikki and Nerine they all. If Nikki and I were back to where we were before, Nerine sure will be pissed off. After all this things I realised something, I could hardly trust anyone else except Nikki but she's gone.. I really miss those days when I could confide everything to her and started crapping around with each other.
Monday, August 30, 2004
i cried. i actually cried over him!! i really do not want to fall for him even though i forget brian cuz of him but this ain't happening~ i noe he now only like his childhood lover or someone else hu hannan like too as that wad he said that is his love rival...i tot i will nv get hurt so much after brian but i was wrong..now even he can made me feel hurt..why must it be him out of so many others...he promised before he will be there for me whenever i'm sad and he oso did promise before tat he will not allow me to shed any tears but now why are there tears glistening in my eyes...
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Finally break down after so long. Really cnt tk it anymore...my tears start to flow once again tot i wont nv see it again but really had enuff. I know tat no one can tk anything away from us but now my request is to beg someone to take me away from this misery even if tat caused death...
Sunday, August 22, 2004
now feeling so down...feel like ending my life. wont it be good if i just die or suffer from any coma or anything that could allow me to leave this misery place?!? why am i so lag!! now then fall for him its all too late...i have already hurt him like hell last time and now i finally got moved by all those things he did last time to me. jo did told him abt it but all he sae is "past had already past". it took me so long to finally get over Ian and now i must get over this. nxt is nikki...why cant she be like last time so good to me i rather she being fake in front of me den showing me all her true colours...i felt so betrayed now. why!! must all this things happened just within a month i really cant take it no more. really very torturing but there's nth i can do to it...i wanna end my life!!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
haix..so sick of my life now. things are getting worse and worse and even worse as before. now really start to detest everything even my life..sometimes wondering if i die will everything come to an end. bs and rochelle acc were being hacked and right after this incident nikki's mother called on bs and scolded her. i just dont get it why ppl always dun get the whole incident clear and always keep thinking that nikki is always the kind soul and we're the bad one. so unfair!!! nikki's mother told bs that she will be goin down skool to make a report..that's so lame. i really wanna end everything.....
Monday, August 16, 2004
haix..so many things happened to me...quarrelled with nikki since 26th july'04..now things get even worse and worse. I just dun get it, she's the one who started this because she felt left out. Now almost half the class against her and she's no longer the person i used to know le. Sometimes really wanna be like last always hang out like siao char bo but whenever i thought of all the things that she did really hurt me a lot. I guessed no one really know how i really feel whenever they pick on her. Feeling very lost really dunno what to do..worse chinese o level get c5..cried like running tap...also recently just realised i like someone who i did not like last time...why must god play such a big joke on me~!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
haix so long never come here update le. last friday at orchard very sianx because all my friends playing pool in ssc then decide to ask beishi call calvin they all come orchard accompany us lor. that time calvin, elijah and kenneth came then i thought boon and kenny not free mah. next day went down to FL there saw boon, he lei give me those attitude and faces then i slowly found out from calvin that boon thought i'm the one who ask him not to go orchard but i dont even know what's happening. later came to know on that night beishi messaged calvin say not to let boon come one then boon thought i messaging calvin. kaox for nothing kena hate by boon still remember that day cried in FL there. now ar i abit dulan with boon lor, people talk to him, he dao and still give me faces somemore already more than one time le then i bth le lor. now lei just hope that no one go tell him it's beishi lor if not later he go hate beishi then total make two people hate him so now i just let boon think i'm the one lor ..no choice. few more days is valentine le, then everytime heard the word 'valentine' always remind me of last year valentine day. just saw justin's second testimonial, wah i read until my eyes got tears also dont know why like that. what he wrote in my testimonial about how i feel really true lor, come to think of it i really tired of acting to be strong on the outside le...
Saturday, January 31, 2004
hMm..fOr tHe pAst tHrEe dAys quIte haPpiE cuZ 'iAn' tOk To mE onLinE. nOt oNe dAy bUt tWo dAys wOr. dEn yesTeRdAy wEnt To tOwN fiRst Go tAkasHimAya tHeRe tO sEarCh wHethEr mY gReAt grAnd tUdi thEre dEn lAta bAck tO mY fAvoUriTe pS aNd i sAw 'iAn'. wElL...didNt rEalLy toK tO hiM cUz wHen i sAw hiM i wiLl sEems tO waLk aWay. tHoUgh diDnt toK bUt reAlLy vEry haPpiE to sEe hiM lOr...ever siNce yEar 2004 i nEveR eVen sEe hiM lE bUt nOw i'M cOntEnteD hEex.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
tOdAy 'yAn' tOld mE thAt hE reAd mY blOg aNd hE trIeD tO caLl mE tWo tiMes bUt bOtH i eItHer nOt aT hOmE oR slEepIng. i jUst duN gEt iT loR whEn i sAy tHe wOrdS fRiEnds..hE aNd hEr tOgeTheR lE mAh cuZ tHat tiMe hE lOg iN dEn i sAw hIs niCk sO tiS sHoWn thAt hE haD giVen uP lE mAh dEn wHy mY aNswEr cAnt bE fRiEnds? thIs tiMe i didnT aCt rAsh bY eNdinG a rElAtIoNsHip eVeR siNce tHaT 'iAn' iNciDenT i tRiEd nOt tO be raSh aBt tiS typE oF thiNgs lE lOr Mm..k gOtTa gO to skOol lE wiSh mE luCk hOpe rAtnAm wOnt cAtcH mE todAY fOr aNy sTupId lAme tHiNgs
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
tOdAy aR kEnA cAlLeD uP bY rAtnAm aGaiN..i'Ve nO iDeA hOw mAny tiMes i hAvE bEen cAugHt bY hEr wHeneVeR i brOke tHe skOol rUlEs tiS yEaR. tOdAy oSo tHe dAy whEn bOtH mY paRenTs wEre nOt iN sinGaPoRe ..tHe hOuSe sO quIeT oNe. sO i dEciDed tO cAlL hiM uP lOr liKe wHaT mY tuDi sAy bUt i cAlL hiM lE iN thE eNd hE sEemS buSy wiTh soMetHiNg sO aLsO hAng uP tHe fOnE leSs dEn 2 mIns. i tOt hE wOuLd aT lEaSt cAlL bAck bUt hE diDnt sO i'Ve dEciDe tHaT tHe oNlY wAy tO lEt hiM kNoW whAt i wAnNa sAy iS by tHe cHaTtErbOx iN hIs bLog. aT fiRsT i dIdnT wAnt tO tYpE oUt tHaT sEntEnce bUt i rEalLy duN wAn tO liKe giViNg hIm pRobLems lOr. siNcE hE aLsO hAd tHe oThEr sHe's' dEn i rAtHeR hE duN giF uP on tHem liKe tHat aT lEasT gOt soMeoNe tO aCcoMpAny hiM tO spEnd tHe vAlenTinE wiTh.. tHouGh i wAlkeD oUt fRoM tHat huRtiNg plAcE i guEsS i tOok tHe wRoNg paTh aGaiN ..bUt nEvEr miNd lA mAyBe hE aLsO haviNg pRobLemS sO liKe tHaT wiLl bE eAsiEr fOr hiM lE (^^)
Sunday, January 18, 2004
i duNnO whEtHeR tiS is fAtEd oR waD. toDaY i wAs lOokIng bAck aT alL mY bLoG aNd aCCidEntlY clIck oN hIs liNk. i sAw hIs rEcEnT entRy aNd fOuNd oUt tHat hE dEciDed tO lEt gO iF tHat tHe cAsE i rAtHeR hE tElL mE tHe tRuTh nOw aNd leTtiNg mYsElF waiT liKe aN iDiOt. oH yA tiS sOng iS by bRiTnEy tiTlE eVerYtiMe haAha tiS sOng i HeAr unTil cRy wOr rEalLy vEry sAd siA tHe lyRicS..buT dEn tHe rEasOns tHat mAdE mE cRy iS nOt cuZ oF hIm bA - gUeSs "iAn" stiLl liViNg dEep iNsiDe mY hEaRt. mE aNd 'yAn' liKe nTh oNe tHouGh tOgEthEr its liKe oNlY iN naMe aNd tHaT's iT..mY fRiEnd sEemS tO cOnCerN aBouT mE moRe tHaN hE doEs bUt dEn hE nOw oSo dOubTiNg lE ba
Everytime
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
Ohhhh
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
After all...
After all...
Everytime
Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?
Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry
Ohhhh
At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away
And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby
After all...
After all...
Friday, December 19, 2003
*sOb sOb*
tOdAy iS tHe 8Th mOntH siNce tHe bRoKe uP. hAix alSo jUst foUnd oUt tHat hE faiLeD hiS 'N' lEvEl, nOw cAnNot gRaduAte oN tHe sAme yEaR lE. hE toLd mE mAybe hE pLanNiNg tO gO pRivAte sTudYiNg; i cAnt sEe hiM aS oFtEN lE. nOw i jUst hOpe tHat tHeRe wiLl bE a miRacLe fOr hiM lOr. duNno why i eVeRytiMe liEd tO hiM anD sAid tHat i liKe sOmeOne eLse bUt tHe tRutH iS hiM lOr. tHis bAckGroUnd sOuNd iS sAng bY chriStiNa aGuiLeRa aNd jUst riGhT tHaT tiMe hE toLd tHaT nEwS i wAs liStenIng tO thIs sOng. tHis sOng rEaLly vEry sAd lOr i hEaR uNtiL cRy..
tOdAy iS tHe 8Th mOntH siNce tHe bRoKe uP. hAix alSo jUst foUnd oUt tHat hE faiLeD hiS 'N' lEvEl, nOw cAnNot gRaduAte oN tHe sAme yEaR lE. hE toLd mE mAybe hE pLanNiNg tO gO pRivAte sTudYiNg; i cAnt sEe hiM aS oFtEN lE. nOw i jUst hOpe tHat tHeRe wiLl bE a miRacLe fOr hiM lOr. duNno why i eVeRytiMe liEd tO hiM anD sAid tHat i liKe sOmeOne eLse bUt tHe tRutH iS hiM lOr. tHis bAckGroUnd sOuNd iS sAng bY chriStiNa aGuiLeRa aNd jUst riGhT tHaT tiMe hE toLd tHaT nEwS i wAs liStenIng tO thIs sOng. tHis sOng rEaLly vEry sAd lOr i hEaR uNtiL cRy..Wednesday, December 17, 2003
fEw mOre dAys tO chriStmAs
aLl i wAnT iS juSt hOpE tHaT hE woulD spEnd tHaT dAy wiTh mE lOr..bUt i guEsS tIs iS imPoSsiBle. *sOb sOb* i jUsT hApPeNed tO sAw hIs aWay mSg iN iRc "mIssIN u .. HopIn U wiLl MisS mi .. gOneS 2 aMk.. aNitiNG cOr jiErEn i wIf HIm .. ('oo')" i kNow tHat hE's rEfErRiNg tO wAi yEe. hAix wHy eVeryTimE mUst lEt mE sEe aLl thIs sAd Sad tHinGs oNe. rEaLly vEry hArD tO aCtuAlLy wAlk oUt, i wAnTed tO gEt oVer hiM bUt mY hEaRt jUst siMplY cOulDnt dO iT. i rEaliSeD i rEalLy cAnt fOrgEt hiM tHaT eAsy liKe i tHouGht lOr..tRy nOt tO tHinK oF hiM bUt very hArd. hAix...
aLl i wAnT iS juSt hOpE tHaT hE woulD spEnd tHaT dAy wiTh mE lOr..bUt i guEsS tIs iS imPoSsiBle. *sOb sOb* i jUsT hApPeNed tO sAw hIs aWay mSg iN iRc "mIssIN u .. HopIn U wiLl MisS mi .. gOneS 2 aMk.. aNitiNG cOr jiErEn i wIf HIm .. ('oo')" i kNow tHat hE's rEfErRiNg tO wAi yEe. hAix wHy eVeryTimE mUst lEt mE sEe aLl thIs sAd Sad tHinGs oNe. rEaLly vEry hArD tO aCtuAlLy wAlk oUt, i wAnTed tO gEt oVer hiM bUt mY hEaRt jUst siMplY cOulDnt dO iT. i rEaliSeD i rEalLy cAnt fOrgEt hiM tHaT eAsy liKe i tHouGht lOr..tRy nOt tO tHinK oF hiM bUt very hArd. hAix...Tuesday, December 16, 2003
jUst cAme bAck fRom mY hoLidAy.
hAix i mEt hiM iN tHe hOtEl oN tHe 2Nd dAy, sO coiNcidEnt hOr. tHat tImE hE wAs abouT tO cHeCk oUt aNd oNly i sAw hiM, hE dIdnt sAw mE. cOme tO tHinK oF wAd kEnNetH sAid wHy diDnt i wAlkeD uP tO hiM aNd sAy hi? oH ya iN gEntIng i mAde quIte a fEw fRieNds, 2 fRom mAlAysiAn aNd 4 gUys fRom siNgaPoRe. HaAha dIdnT kNow gO tHeRe hOliDay oSo cAn mAkE fRiEnds. tHe 2 mAlAysIaN gAls iS mEt iN tHe aRcAdE wHeN i wAs pLayiNg rOck fEvEr aNd tHe othEr 4 gUys iS wHeN mE aNd my cOuSin rOaMiNg aRouNd tHe mAlL aNd liKe tHat tHey cOme iNtRoduCed tHemSelVes lOr. hAahA luCky kEnNeTh oSo wEnt tHeRe wiTh hiS fAmiLy iF nOt nO oNe wiLl aCcoMpAny mE tAkE aLl tHe tHriLliNg rIdEs iN tHe tHeMepArk. bOugHt qUiTe aLot oF tHinGs sPeNt aLmOst rEaCh thouSaNd bUt lUckY haVeN rEach. wOw~ i sTayEd iN tHe 2Nd hiGheSt lEveL aNd vIp rOoM sOmE mOre wOr bUt lAMe sHit tHe tOilEt bOwl cAnNot bE flUshED!! hAahA aNywAy tHeRe rEalLy qUiTe cOld 13°c lEh. hAahA oH yA gOt oNe gUy cHaLlEngEd mE rOck fEvEr aNd i wIn hiM *yAy*. hMm..sEemS liKe tIs fEw mOntHs oF pLayiNg rOck fEvEr dId pAy oFf a lItTlE =x
hAix i mEt hiM iN tHe hOtEl oN tHe 2Nd dAy, sO coiNcidEnt hOr. tHat tImE hE wAs abouT tO cHeCk oUt aNd oNly i sAw hiM, hE dIdnt sAw mE. cOme tO tHinK oF wAd kEnNetH sAid wHy diDnt i wAlkeD uP tO hiM aNd sAy hi? oH ya iN gEntIng i mAde quIte a fEw fRieNds, 2 fRom mAlAysiAn aNd 4 gUys fRom siNgaPoRe. HaAha dIdnT kNow gO tHeRe hOliDay oSo cAn mAkE fRiEnds. tHe 2 mAlAysIaN gAls iS mEt iN tHe aRcAdE wHeN i wAs pLayiNg rOck fEvEr aNd tHe othEr 4 gUys iS wHeN mE aNd my cOuSin rOaMiNg aRouNd tHe mAlL aNd liKe tHat tHey cOme iNtRoduCed tHemSelVes lOr. hAahA luCky kEnNeTh oSo wEnt tHeRe wiTh hiS fAmiLy iF nOt nO oNe wiLl aCcoMpAny mE tAkE aLl tHe tHriLliNg rIdEs iN tHe tHeMepArk. bOugHt qUiTe aLot oF tHinGs sPeNt aLmOst rEaCh thouSaNd bUt lUckY haVeN rEach. wOw~ i sTayEd iN tHe 2Nd hiGheSt lEveL aNd vIp rOoM sOmE mOre wOr bUt lAMe sHit tHe tOilEt bOwl cAnNot bE flUshED!! hAahA aNywAy tHeRe rEalLy qUiTe cOld 13°c lEh. hAahA oH yA gOt oNe gUy cHaLlEngEd mE rOck fEvEr aNd i wIn hiM *yAy*. hMm..sEemS liKe tIs fEw mOntHs oF pLayiNg rOck fEvEr dId pAy oFf a lItTlE =x Saturday, December 13, 2003
tHiS iS sO wEiRd..
wHy dO i HaF thE wEiRd wEiRd fEeliNg wHeN hE wAs tElLiNg mE aLl hiS pRobLemS? i dId hiM wRonG lAst tiMe bUt nOw i hOpE i wOnT liKe hiM pLeAse..i tRiEd tO coNtroL mYseLf fRoM nOt rEpLyiNg hiM. hAix i fEeliNg sO fAn nAo nOw. nOw aNoThEr tHinG iS wHy sEbAsTiAn sTiLl wAnNa wAsTe hiS tiMe wAiT, hE sHouLd kNoW tHat i WonT liKe hiM bUt wHy iS hE doInG alL tHis? nOw i kNoW tHe mOre i wAnTeD tHiNgs tO bE tHe gReaTer diSsaPoiNtmEnt i wiLl gEt. tHaNks fOR beiNg tHeRe fOr mE diAry At lEaSt i kNoW yOu stiLl wiLl bE heRe tO hEaR tHinGs oUt fRoM mE.
wHy dO i HaF thE wEiRd wEiRd fEeliNg wHeN hE wAs tElLiNg mE aLl hiS pRobLemS? i dId hiM wRonG lAst tiMe bUt nOw i hOpE i wOnT liKe hiM pLeAse..i tRiEd tO coNtroL mYseLf fRoM nOt rEpLyiNg hiM. hAix i fEeliNg sO fAn nAo nOw. nOw aNoThEr tHinG iS wHy sEbAsTiAn sTiLl wAnNa wAsTe hiS tiMe wAiT, hE sHouLd kNoW tHat i WonT liKe hiM bUt wHy iS hE doInG alL tHis? nOw i kNoW tHe mOre i wAnTeD tHiNgs tO bE tHe gReaTer diSsaPoiNtmEnt i wiLl gEt. tHaNks fOR beiNg tHeRe fOr mE diAry At lEaSt i kNoW yOu stiLl wiLl bE heRe tO hEaR tHinGs oUt fRoM mE.Friday, December 12, 2003
wEe~! 
haAha i fiNalLy fiNiSh wAtChiNg "aT tHe dOlPhiN bAy". mY eYes nOw vEry rEd aNd sWoLleN hAaHa mE wAtCh uNtiL cRy tOo mUch lE, tHiS shOw rEalLy vEry tOuchIng lOr tHen wHen i wAtCh wiLl tHinK oF hiM bUt tOdAy i didnT tHiNk oF hiM. iS tHiS gOoD oR bAd? aCtuAlLy cOme tO tHinK oF iT i sHouLd bE tHanKfuL tO aCtuAlLy hAvE hiM oNce aNd tHaT iS enOuGh lE bA tHouGh iT oNly lAsteD fOR 4 mOntHs aNd 20 dAys. hAahA jUsT liKe tiAnbiAn (tHe feMalE lEaD iN tHe shOw) ,i wiLl kEep tHoSe mEmoRieS tHat i hAd hAd oNce wIth hiM dEep doWn iN mY heArt aNd loCkeD iT uP. hAaHa tHat shOw aLso gOt thiS quOte fRom zEryA (tHe mAlE lEad) ,iF yOu bEliEve iN yOur wiSh iT wOuLd bEcOme rEaliTy. hAahA so nOw i beliEve tHat tHeRe wiLl bE soMeoNe wHo wiLl lEad mE oUt oF tHe huRtiNg plAce aNd tO a nEw pAth. aFtEr sO mAnY dAys At hOme, i fiNalLy wEnt oUt sO tHaT i woNt kEep loCkiNg uP mySelF iN mY roOm aNd tHinK aBouT tHosE sAd sAd iNciDenTs. haAha cOme tO tHinK oF iT wHat sO gOoD tO bE muScuLaR, hEex mY frIenD bRyAn hAaHa kEep gOiNg tO gYm eVeRyDay wiThoUt fAiL. sIao oNe hE *oPps* hAahA..
haAha i fiNalLy fiNiSh wAtChiNg "aT tHe dOlPhiN bAy". mY eYes nOw vEry rEd aNd sWoLleN hAaHa mE wAtCh uNtiL cRy tOo mUch lE, tHiS shOw rEalLy vEry tOuchIng lOr tHen wHen i wAtCh wiLl tHinK oF hiM bUt tOdAy i didnT tHiNk oF hiM. iS tHiS gOoD oR bAd? aCtuAlLy cOme tO tHinK oF iT i sHouLd bE tHanKfuL tO aCtuAlLy hAvE hiM oNce aNd tHaT iS enOuGh lE bA tHouGh iT oNly lAsteD fOR 4 mOntHs aNd 20 dAys. hAahA jUsT liKe tiAnbiAn (tHe feMalE lEaD iN tHe shOw) ,i wiLl kEep tHoSe mEmoRieS tHat i hAd hAd oNce wIth hiM dEep doWn iN mY heArt aNd loCkeD iT uP. hAaHa tHat shOw aLso gOt thiS quOte fRom zEryA (tHe mAlE lEad) ,iF yOu bEliEve iN yOur wiSh iT wOuLd bEcOme rEaliTy. hAahA so nOw i beliEve tHat tHeRe wiLl bE soMeoNe wHo wiLl lEad mE oUt oF tHe huRtiNg plAce aNd tO a nEw pAth. aFtEr sO mAnY dAys At hOme, i fiNalLy wEnt oUt sO tHaT i woNt kEep loCkiNg uP mySelF iN mY roOm aNd tHinK aBouT tHosE sAd sAd iNciDenTs. haAha cOme tO tHinK oF iT wHat sO gOoD tO bE muScuLaR, hEex mY frIenD bRyAn hAaHa kEep gOiNg tO gYm eVeRyDay wiThoUt fAiL. sIao oNe hE *oPps* hAahA..Thursday, December 11, 2003
uNtiL nOw mY tEaRs sTiLl sHeDdiNg aS muCh aS yEstErdAy..
..tiS cUt iS mUch dEePeR tHaN i eXpEcTeD. tiS tWo dAys i'vE bEeN cRyiNg, nO maTtEr wHat tHe tHiNg i sAw yeStErdAy kEpT fLaShiNg tHrOugH mY miNd. nOw i'M abiT aFrAid oF fAlLiNg iN loVe aGaiN aT tHis mOmEnt bEcAusE i cAnT aCcEpt tHe fAcT oF loSiNg sOmEoNe. iF i cOuLd tUrN bAck tHe tiMe i wOuLd nOT haVe chOsEn tHiS paTh, tHiS paTh lEad mE tO a vEry hUrtiNg pLaCe aNd iT's nOt eAsy tO wAlk. oN tiS pAth yOu cAn sEe mAny tEaRs glIstEniNg aNd rOsEs thAt aRe thErE tO pRicK lEaviNg a sCar bEhiNd. nOw i jUst hOpe tHaT i cOulD fiNd a nEw pAth oUt oF tHe huRtiNg pLace bUt hOw lOng wiLl thIs tAkE mE?
..tiS cUt iS mUch dEePeR tHaN i eXpEcTeD. tiS tWo dAys i'vE bEeN cRyiNg, nO maTtEr wHat tHe tHiNg i sAw yeStErdAy kEpT fLaShiNg tHrOugH mY miNd. nOw i'M abiT aFrAid oF fAlLiNg iN loVe aGaiN aT tHis mOmEnt bEcAusE i cAnT aCcEpt tHe fAcT oF loSiNg sOmEoNe. iF i cOuLd tUrN bAck tHe tiMe i wOuLd nOT haVe chOsEn tHiS paTh, tHiS paTh lEad mE tO a vEry hUrtiNg pLaCe aNd iT's nOt eAsy tO wAlk. oN tiS pAth yOu cAn sEe mAny tEaRs glIstEniNg aNd rOsEs thAt aRe thErE tO pRicK lEaviNg a sCar bEhiNd. nOw i jUst hOpe tHaT i cOulD fiNd a nEw pAth oUt oF tHe huRtiNg pLace bUt hOw lOng wiLl thIs tAkE mE? Wednesday, December 10, 2003
jUsT cRiEd fiNiSh..haIx tOdAy nOt rEaLly mY dAy bA..gOt oNe pErsOn uSe mY nAmE aS aN eXcuSe tO tHrEateN mY fRiEnd by sAyiNg tHaT hE bUlLieD me bUt lUcKy iTs oVeR.. bUt oNe mOrE tHiNg, cAlviN hAd gOtTa tHe wrOnG iDeA aNd i cAn hArdLy eXplAiN tO hiM. hAix i aLsO fOuNd oUt tHe aNswEr tO tHe qUeStiOn tHaT i hAd aLwAyS wAntEd tO kNoW. aLl tHiS tHinGs hapPeNed jUsT iN oNe dAy..i nOw rEaLly nEed aNy Of tHe vAmP tO aCcoMpAny mE. diArY aR, nOw wHo rEalLy gOoD tOwaRds me otHeR tHaN vAmP...oH yA i jUsT wRoTe oNe nEw lyRiC aBoUt mY fEeLiNgs nOwaDays lOr. nOw i a BiT tiRed oF pUtTiNg uP fAkE smiLeS oN my fAce iN oRdEr tO hiDe aLl mY huRt fEeliNgs bUt nOw cAnt eXpEct mUch liFe sTiLl hAvE tO go oN sO uSe mY oLd tHeOry ..aLwAys lOok oN tHe bRigHt siDe aNd lOck uP mY uNhApPiNesS.. (^^)Tuesday, December 09, 2003
hAix bAd nEws..i didNt hApPeN tO bUmP iNto hiM aT tOwN *sOb* ...hAaHa bUt vEry hApPy hE cAme tO mY hOuSe tHiS eArlY mOrNinG aS hE sAid hE wAnNa wAtCh wEsTsiDe sToRy bUt iN tHe eNd sLeEp. hE wAs jUsT bEsIdE mE aNd i cAn hArdLy bReAth, mY heArTbeAt wAsnT iTsElf. eVer sInCe bRokE oFf wiTh hiM, wE nEvEr rEaLly cOntAct eAcH oTheR lE lOr. yeSteRdAy dIdNt gEt tO sEe hiM iN tOwn, tHaT mOmeNt i rEalLy oN tHe vErgE oF gEttIng oVer hIm bUt tOdAy he aPpEaRed riGhT iN frOnt oF mE, jUst bOut tHrEe fIngErs sPacInG beTwEen uS. i rEaliSed tHaT i cAn haRdlY gEt oVer hiM aNd sTiLl lUv hiM aS mUcH. hAix bUt i kNoW tHaT i'Ve cHoSen tHe wRoNg dEciSiOn oN 19th aPriL'03, mAyBe iT tiMe i sHouLd lEt gO... 
